Filed under: MY DIARY
God, Your answers at my prayers always came brutally fast. And I still lack Your brutal holiness. I can’t even say in words how much I cherish this dialogue that You have with me, although I’m as insignificant as a leaf. But still, you find the time to stay with me, to answer to my prayers, to guide me, to bring me joy and peace and care for me. I love the changes you brought in my life, I love this new person that the Holly Spirit makes me become. I love the feeling of being crushed by love and I love the fact that you take the time to teach me what I still lack.
I could not be more grateful for you being my God than I already am, and could not be more trustful than I am.
Should I burst in tears of joy? Should I burst in tears of fear? Should I burst in tears or praise? I never said anything that I was more entitled to – than what I said tonight: “I am in a covenant with God, I will not tread it.”
In a circular world, I am mad because I believe in linearity that springs from an out-of-time God.
God, I give you all that I am, all my feelings, all my emotions, all my sins that I cannot deal with, all the unsolved fears and all the deficiencies.
You can change hearts, you can change perspectives, you can change even me. Make all the changes that need to be done in me. I am so afraid that my heart doesn’t fear any longer and I have never lived without fear. It’s a sweet life that you turned mine into and a joyful heart this heart of mine. I do trust you against all odds and my heart is deeply anchored in yours. What, Jesus, what could ever take me apart from you?
I love being in a covenant with you and will not tread it. Thank you for loving me before I loved you.
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