Filed under: MY DIARY
I slowly but surely discover the world of Clive Staples Lewis and John Ronald Reuel Tolkien. Not because of the great narnian wars, nor because of some rings, but because behind their stories lay abundant worlds of writing an theology.
“Why love, if losing hurts so much? I have no answers anymore: only the life I have lived. Twice in that life I’ve been given the choice: as a boy and as a man. The boy chose safety, the man chooses suffering. The pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.” (C.S.Lewis)
The conception of love… the question of love… I can’t stop wondering and also asking myself… why love a particular person? I didn’t believe loneliness can be a gift, but here I am, sunken in loneliness, and all I can see is the gift of spending time with God. I’m not saying it does not hurt a times, especially because of the reason why I am alone. Still, in all this suffering, maybe loneliness may be more than a context. For me, it can be a choice; and somehow, it just turns into the right option for me – it seems like that way. It is scary, but if I have God, and I share Him with other, and all my needs are supplied by brotherhood in Christ, the only reason I would ever love again is that I would literally need to have a physical connection with someone. And I ask myself… do I? I’m not judging the ones that do, I know physical pressure can be a great deal, but if I don’t really have it any longer, why worry about it and make it appear?
“Simply thinking about a life of suffering is suffering in itself.”
But Lord knows, Lewis, loneliness is not a continuous suffering; likewise, being in a couple is not a continuous happiness. I know you know…
I surely would have liked to meet these two guys…
Leave a Comment so far
Leave a comment
